PLEASE NOTE: This is a ROUGH DRAFT. It is the VERY FIRST DRAFT OF THE STORY. YOU are the very first person to read it – I haven’t even read it in its entirety yet!
You WILL come across numerous issues including:
- spelling mistakes;
- grammar issues;
- weak sentence structure;
- repeated words;
- unnecessary words;
- missing words;
- lack of details/descriptions;
- confusing details/descriptions;
Critiques/criticisms, while appreciated, most likely will be discarded at this stage! Thank you.
Additional Note: Doodles, Sketches, and Artwork may be added over time. These are not the story illustrations! They do feature characters and places within the story, however.
Violet behind the curtain of the stage, inspecting her violin one more time. Well-polished, well-tuned…everything was in place. And of course it was – this was Violet after all. The violin prodigy! If Foreligis had been more connected, she would be better know – but it was fine. At least her home, the large city-village of Aurum, had enough space for her…supposed.
She turned to the mirror that stood beside her, posing with her violin. Her purple hair rained down her shoulders and she gently brushed it away to brush it off from one of her many precious violins. Excitement almost immeditately bubbled up through her stomach and into her heart. Soon it was circulating into her system, transforming from nervous-excitement to pure energy. She lowered her violin and her bow, smiling widely in the mirror in front of her – she was ready to perform.
“…um’s prodigy, VIOLET BAUM!”
Applause thundered so loudly, the whole stage shook underneath Violet’s feet. This served only to cause her steps to lighten even more as she placed her violin on her shoulder and began to play intensely for every person in Aurum, even if they weren’t attending. She stepped out in almost a skip, quickly silencing the outdoor concert hall. She swung her body in time to the music, dancing along with the sound she produced with just herself, the bow, and the violin.
She stepped along the stage, allowing the flow of her dancing to energize her very core. The audience began to clap again, adding an additional layer behind her. She giggled to herself, remember the brief thought she used to have when she was just a young child – the very annoyance at the clapping before she was done and how distracting it once seemed that they would be clapping along with her music. But now they’re a part of my performance.
Violet’s gut pinched at the sound of creaking from around her. Tension hugged her upper arms, but she kept on playing anyway. It’s nothing, ignore it. She told herself, mentally pushing herself back into the music. She took a few steps towards the back of the stage, walking backwards to amp up a powerful, speedy performance. The crowd cheered, yelped, and clapped. She began to spin around and around, swinging her head.
CREEEEEAK CREEEEEEEEEEEEAK CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK
The stage and its surroundings moaned once more. Violet’s gut pinched and twisted again. Although her face was smiling, internally, she was starting to get really angry. Her ears moved from the music to the unharmonious creaks of the stage. How dare you! she spat in her head as she continued to smile and play on the outside, hoping underneath no one was going to notice her anger. You’re messing up my rhythm!
CREEEEEEEEEEEEEAK CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK
Up from her stomach shot up a single word to her head: DANGER.
And what did she do? Attempt to push it down – she was at the best part in the song!
CREEEEEEEEAK CREAK CREEEEEAK CREAK CREAK CREAAAAAK CREAK
She began to slam her foot to the ground to each note that she played, banging her head in the air as she did so. The audience clapped along. Her notes became hire and she turned around, looking up at the ceiling with her up body, leaning her head back. Normally, she’d look briefly at the audience, but that obnoxious creeeeeeaking caught her attention instead.
Her eyes watched as the creaking metal above her swayed violently.
Her gut shouted to her DANGER, DANGER, DANGER!
Her eyes widened, watching everything become unhindged and then…
Screams came from behind Violet, but she couldn’t see where – on top of her was metal and wood. And in her.