PLEASE NOTE: This is a ROUGH DRAFT. It is the VERY FIRST DRAFT OF THE STORY. YOU are the very first person to read it – I haven’t even read it in its entirety yet!
You WILL come across numerous issues including:
- spelling mistakes;
- grammar issues;
- weak sentence structure;
- repeated words;
- unnecessary words;
- missing words;
- lack of details/descriptions;
- confusing details/descriptions;
Critiques/criticisms, while appreciated, most likely will be discarded at this stage! Thank you.
Additional Note: Doodles, Sketches, and Artwork may be added over time.
Astral Isles – where the stars shine down from the sky both day and night. The stars glistening rays kiss the lusious land with its gently rolling hills, scattered forest, and hundreds of flower-covered meadows. The sand on the beach and its watery companion that surround the isle always are twinkling back to the stars with a silent giggle.
Spread throughout the land were homes where hardworking people worked and played. You wouldn’t be able to tell from their medivial-style homes that they had many modern devices within.
Right in the center of Astral Isles – where the North Star shined down – stood a grand castle. It’s light gray stone walls piled high, reaching towards the star above that so kindly graced their prescence. The castle itself seemed to glitter like the stars throughout the day, as the sun’s rays kissed its walls.
Up on the second floor balcony of the castle (there were technically four floors, but some of the towers easily made it twelve), a young lady stood in a pool of water, completely naked, as the a waterfall poured onto her golden locks from the mouth of a lion statue. Soapy suds glided their way down her wheat-coloured skin and into the water below. As the soap finished washing out of her hair, she turned around and faced the waterfall. She slowly stepped underneath it, allowed it to gently wash over her face. She moved her hands of it, guiding the water to every part of her face.
“Princess, you mustn’t stay under the water for long.”
If her eyes had been opened, she would have rolled them. The young lady – a princess – whipped her head into the direction of the voice of the older woman. “I know, I know,” she said. She waved her hand towards the woman as if she was trying to shoo a fly. “My skin will prune if I do. I’ll be out in a second.”
After one quick wash to the face, she stepped a few steps backwards towards another woman who stood by the steps. The woman held a pink towel out to the princess with both hands, slightly bowing to her as she did. The princess thanked the woman, grabbed the towel, and began to dry off her body. She turned to the woman, only a couple of years older than her, with a smile. The woman bowed her head in acknowledgement to the princess’s position.
The older woman from earlier, with her graying blonde hair tied up high in a bun and high-collared dress, hissed to the princess. “Hurry, we do not have much time.”
The Princess glanced to the woman with slight disdain. She walked behind a changing screen, opened her arms wide to allow the towel she had wrapped around her loosely to fall to her feet. Another woman – older than the first one by the tub, but younger than the naggy one – grabbed a white bathrobe and helped the princess get into it. Once it was all tied up and the princess and the servant nodded in acknowledgement to the process being done, she headed off to re-enter the castle . The nagging older woman followed shortly behind.
“The guest will be arriving soon and you are not even close to being ready!”
“Is that not what the dressing room will get us to do?”
The older woman glared at the princess as they rounded the corner. “Your hair – ”
“Will be fine,” assured the Princess. “Just get me me a folding fan.”
Before the woman could say anything more, the princess burst through double doors. The room itself appeared to be long, but small – one side was set up with a large vanity, while the other side had a changing partition and a large mirror. However, in the middle of the wall directly across from the entrance way was the doors to the closet that house mannekins upon mannekins of royal wear specifically for the princess.
The princess turned to the servant woman that stood a few feet away from the door. “Please get me one of my folding fans.”
“Yes, right away, princess. Which colour would you like?”
“Make it the baby pink one with the darker pink sparkle.”
“As you wish.”
The older woman huffed. “I cancel that order – I will need her assistance! Princess, you do not have tiime!”
“Bedelia, do not raise your voice at me.” The princess spun around and held out a finger to the older woman. Bedelia paused for a moment. Her face paled for a brief moment before she groaned.
“Just get behind the partition.”
The princess did as she was told. Bedelia followed shortly behind. Before the princess could relax, Bedelia had pulled a hair tie from her apron and yanked the princess’s hair and twisted into a bun.
“Ouch! Do not be so rough!” cried the princess.
“Forgive me, Princess Angelica,” said Bedelia without an ounce of regret. “I do not want your sopping wet hair to ruin the dress.”
“As I said, there is no problem.”
“You cannot be so relient on magic. I understand that it’s a tradition that you are carrying on, but it has proven to be unreliable over the long run.”
“Unreliable for who?” Princess Angelica asked, glancing over her shoulder. She could see Bedelia’s eye subtly twitch.
Without saying a word, Bedelia finished with the princess’s hair and quickly opened the doors to the dressing room. “Brent, bring the dress, now!” she hissed.
“Yes, ma’am!” responded Brent. The blonde-hair teenage boy with a short goatee grabbed the waste of a mannekin and begun to roll it out. His sunflower-yellow locks of perfectly curled hair bounced as he pushed it down the middle of the closet and into the main changing room. The moment it was out of the closet, Bedelia yanked it from him and pushed it behind the curtain.
“Natalia, get back here!” Bedelia yelled.
“Yes, Ms. Bedelia!” replied the servant from earlier who had been standing near the door.
Natalia turned to Brent. “The princess requested her baby pink folding fan with the dark pink sparkles. I need you to grab it!” She rushed off.
Brent smirked as he watched the middle sillhouette behind the changing screen go from clothed to unclothed. He let out a quiet sigh and his face relaxed as he watched the middle sillhouette turn around, allowing the other two to put on articles of clothing. Princess Angelica yelping from her corset being pulled too tight brought him back to the reality that he was staring too lovingly at her sillhouette for far too long. He took a deep breath and rushed out of the room and down the corridor.
The moment Princess Angelica emerged from behind the screen, Brent reappeared back in the room with the requested fan. Princess Angelica’s face lit up as she saw his and the fan. She skipped up to him.
“Oh, Brent, you brought my fan!”
“Yes, of course Princess Angelica, anything you desire, I will do my best to fulfill your request,” replied Brent, holding out the fan to her with both hands.
Princess Angelica took the fan out of his hands slowly, letting her own brush against his. The two of them stared into each other’s eyes. Their smiles may have been small and humble, but their eyes told a completely different story.
Bedelia stepped in between them. She bore a spiteful gaze into Brent’s face as she spoke to Princess Angelica over her shoulder. “Princess, there is no time!”
“You keep saying that,” complained Princess Angelica. “It’ll take no time at all – just watch.”
The princess yanked the hair tie from her head and let her damp hair fall to her back. She rushed up to the vanity mirror and flicked open the fan. With a fell swoop on the left and on the right side of her body, heated air ran down from the top of her head to the ends. As the heated air was followed with a distinct sizzle, crackle, pop, and then utter silence. Her golden locks returned to their slightly wavy natural state. With a slight curved swoop on both sides of her bangs, they straighted and flared outward. It had taken her less than a minute to do all of this.
Bedelia stuck up her nose as the princess turned around, A smug look spread across the princess’s face. “I told you it would not take me all that long.”
Bedelia clicked her tongue.