I wrote a ramble regarding how leading up to my birthday this year in March, I felt immensely thankful for myself, simply because I showed up. Because I showed up despite how I was feeling and after everything I’d been doing over the years, I was able to actually enjoy my birthday without the guilt I normally feel.
I did several pieces for the entry, but the only one I colored in my usual style (Painted Dreams) was this one.
I do laugh at my hands because I think I look more like I’m about to punch someone than having my hands over my heart, but that’s what I actually was going for – my hands over my heart, feeling thankful. I think as for the rest of the piece, I hit on what I wanted to. I wanted to feel at peace because I’m feeling really deep gratitude for myself.
I think there’s a narrative that we aren’t supposed to give credit to ourselves, but it’s really important to me that we give ourselves credit. Even if it’s just the fact we showed up and allowed life to unfold in ways that are better than what we can imagine. For me, that’s what’s happening right now. I’m still struggling in a lot of ways, but I find as long as I can reach into the gratitude I feel for myself, I can be lifted up.
Sometimes I fail to feel immense gratitude for everything outside of me, but I can always come back to the inside and work my way back out.
I actually really like this piece, minus my hands. I probably should have taken a picture for reference or something, but I didn’t. Oops.
I did this piece over the course of a livestream. You can check out the speedpaint:
I’m happy with this piece for the most part overall…what do you think?
Year Completed: 2021
Programs Used: Clip Studio Paint, Affinity Photo
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