A part of me is trying to repress my inner anger just enough to ball it up into productive energy, which is something I can do well with time, while the other part of me (the trying-to-convince-myself part) is saying it’s better to start putting my hand into goals for next year now rather than later so I can either continue on next year or I can continue on another year. I need to hit a point of no return though, kind of like I have with Japanese and drawing.
I mean, I could drop those if I really wanted to, but it would last more like I’m in limbo than anything. Plus, I don’t want to drop them.
I think a part of me is procrastinating from working on my website artwork as well because it’s kind of boring at this point. I just want to get to the actual website already! Which I can’t do until I finish the website artwork…blah. At some point I’ll become less distracted.
One thing I took a step forward and worked on was sewing, which I have talked about in my previous entry. I haven’t figured out my next project, but I did take the time yesterday to puff out my dress form to fit my body proportions just a bit more accurately. Just a bit more accurately. Now to figure out what I’m going to sew next.
Another thing I did, that this entry is title for, is take a step towards learning music. I wanted to be able to read, write, and perform music for so long. I hated it in school, so I thought I just hated doing it in general, but I have heavy suspicions that is not the case. I seem to have a pattern that what I like to do for myself and what I like to do for school/work are two different things (i.e. I should never ever ever have a career in anything I actually enjoy doing).
I’m trying to be optimistic about being able to read and write music – I can read and write Japanese, so I’m hoping I’ll be able to read and write music as well. I know, I know, one’s a language people actually speak and the other one is more or less a “language” people play, but they still use characters or symbols to portray sounds.
I am aiming to learn how to play the keyboard/piano. I actually want to learn the violin, but since I already have a keyboard, I figure I might as well use that. I’m hoping that once I learn how to play that, notes and sounds will come more together for me. Right now I can kind of pick up on tunes, but I can’t really write them out right now.
I’m totally fearing though having more than one or two layers of sound. I feel like I’m terrible at combining music, but I’m hoping once I learn more, that changes. Of course, I’m going to have to make an effort to do that…
I decided to play around on FL Studio today (as well as Finale NotePad, just to have a better idea about what notes I was learning today – I was using an application on my iPad to learn the different symbols on a music sheet and wanted an audio sample of what I was learning). What is different about playing around on FL Studio today was that I was using the open Mac beta for the program. I don’t think you know how excited I am about this! Okay, so the program isn’t running on natively on the OS, but rather is running like it’s on Windows using a customized version of another program called Crossover.
The program runs pretty beautifully for the most part. It lacks the lag I had when I ran it on VMware and only one VSTi gave me issues installing (kept locking up the program). Okay, there was also another VSTi that disappeared partially when you clicked parts of it. That wasn’t the biggest problem I had though. My biggest problem was that whenever I clicked the pattern button for FL studio and pressed “play”, it would play the note C5 (which ended up going to B4 at some point…), even when there were no notes laid out. It was weird…actually, it is still weird. I don’t recall running it on Windows and having this problem. I also noticed that after a while, it would play two keys at the same time.
I should see what happens when I play the keyboard itself…hmm…
Welp, I’ll update you later on my endeavors at some point~!