Someone get me a new candle. I’m all burnt out.

I probably wouldn’t be writing this blog entry right now, since really, there’s nothing interesting going on in my actual personal life. Really – what’s so interesting about a constant stream of artwork and me missing my friends? Nothing. At least, to me, it’s not. However, I am on the verge of being bored due to the fact I’m burnt out from the amount of artwork I’ve been doing these past few days weeks.

So, where should I start? Maybe with that comic commission. Yeah, that works. Let’s start there. So, I have this comic commission that is 36 pages long and in full colour. It’s a bit weird. Well, actually, it is weird. Someone’s paying me to do a fetish comic, with PG-13 material. I don’t mind the content and all, but I don’t like the amount of time I have to spend on it. I took about a two week break from doing the comic since I was getting to the point I was scrapping all my energy together for it to just get one page finished. Having the break was DEFINITELY a good thing – I’m more motivated to work on the comic. Especially since I’m posting it up on my deviantART and there’s two more pages left until I run out of coloured pages, so I gotta hurry up and continue.

I feel a bit bad for a large majority of my deviantART watchers because I know they didn’t watch me for that comic – they watched me for my usual artworks (primarily the Pokémon related ones). I’m scared that I’m alienating my watchers by posting up this comic and nothing else. I do have a few other things I could post that’s my normal stuff, but I’ve all ready made up my mind to do this queued random posting thing, which I’ll explain a bit later. On the other hand, I did gain more than 40 watchers due to the comic. I’m hoping they’ll like my usual stuff too, but I doubt it. I’m half expecting comments like “draw more stuff with Ashley/Satoko!!!!1111!!!”, in which I would reply “lolololol commission me” after I finish the comic. Well, you know, not exactly like that. I’m just nutshelling it.

So, you see, I have this really large back catalog of images. Okay, it’s not that large, but it’s still pretty big – over 50 images – that I need to lineart and colour. Well, want to lineart and colour. They range from the very end of 2010 to now. I could have my back catalog be even bigger if I wanted to, but anything before September 2010 pretty much sucks in terms of anatomy, proportions, and whatever. Doesn’t sound like a good idea to me. The back catalog gets larger too (partially on purpose) every time I draw.

I personally don’t like my main deviantART gallery being inactive for more than two weeks, even though that frequently happens. The longer I wait, the more I feel like I need to post up something in my main gallery. Once I do, it’s not always the most satisfying image – a lot of times it’s just something I felt like I had to colour and not because I wanted to colour it. I post so many quality sketches in my scraps, but most of them never have a chance to be in colour.

I’m planning on changing this though with my “queued roulette” posting, even though it’s not actually roulette. I don’t even know what to call it yet. But basically, with this queue thing I have, I colour a bunch of images and rather than naming the file names whatever I usually name them (which is their potential title when I post them up on deviantART), I name them numbers (starting with 001). After I have 25 images or more, I will use some way to randomly choose a number (maybe or paper in a cup sort of thing) and post up the image that is named that number. I haven’t decided how frequently I will be doing this, but it will be at least once a week. If I start doing this and am still colouring images, the new images will replace the images that had all ready been posted (and the old images would be renamed and moved to my completed works folder).

It’s mainly a way to keep my deviantART active and allow me to work on things ahead of schedule, as well as take breaks and still have things posted. I haven’t decided yet if I want to try to cram and post all the images I’m doing now (in 2011) until the end of the year or let them spill over to 2012. I’m thinking letting them spill over into 2012 would be a better idea. Would give me more time to work on 2012 artwork and not rush my 2011 colouring.

Kelly Wearing Ash's Hat
Kelly Wearing Ash’s Hat

So far I only have three images done for this thing, two of them posted on my written works blog. More will be coming in the future when I complete them. I want to wait until I have a bit more before I post them on my blog. Seems a bit of a waste to post them one at a time.

I did another image as well, but it’s not part of this queued posting thing. I don’t really even know what it’s for – I guess for myself, you could say? It’s part of a set of three images that will eventually be going on my website as an exclusive. I would LOVE to post them on deviantART, but despite the cuteness of the images, I think they might be deemed a bit too “sexy” for dA’s standards.

…actually, do you know what, let me make this post more colourful and have the images on here. Even if you don’t really care about my artwork and want to see something like photographs, at least I’m giving you a bit more than text.

Samantha's New Look
Samantha’s New Look

OH. Sorry for interrupting this post, but I’m currently listening to a bunch of music on Spotify and I absolutely ADORE this song. I just discovered it yesterday or the day before, I believe. It’s called “Raver Raver Raver” and it’s by EFM-7. I think I partially like it for the LGBT-friendly lyrics (well…it sort of has a lesbian implication), but I also just love how it sounds. It’s very spirit lifting, at the same time as being kind of sad. I just LOVE it. The girl’s voice is really cute as well and fits the song.

Okay, yeah, I know you don’t care. I’ll go back to what I’ve been posting. So, I hope you like the images. You’ve got Kelly wearing Ash’s hat, which is actually a redrawing of an older picture (you can read about it here if you really feel like it), Samantha kind of walking that is a redrawing of a picture that showed off her new look (you can read about it here), Maribelle in her Earth clothing holding a bag at a weird perspective that looks like her arm popped out of her shoulder, and my relatively adorable Onlyinadreamshipping (Ash Ketchum/Kelly) image that I like quite a bit. The last one is the one I think might be too sexy for deviantART (even if the characters are drawn with the intention of being over 18).

Oh, I did one of my cyclops character, Christopher, and my kappa character, Carl. Erm, kappa is a creature from Japanese folklore. I don’t really feel like explaining what a kappa is. The image itself was more of an experiment than anything serious, as well as to display their colours.

Maribelle & Her Bag
Maribelle & Her Bag

Yeah, I’ve been doing this while also working on some contest entry that I was stupid enough to make into a comic. Except I think right now, for time reasons, I’m scrapping most of the comic and combining the last three pages to be a huge picture and doing the actual comic at a later time. It’s actually because of this contest entry that I’m worn out. The last page is a HUGE picture in comparison to the ones I’ve done and took a lot of time to lineart it. I probably would have taken more time to lineart it, however, the contest ends on October 5th and I want to make sure the entire picture is done before then. I do have the entire comic sketched out, it just needs to be linearted and coloured…which takes so much time. Which is on top of doing “Cleanser 2″…

So, yeah, I’m doing a contest entry due on October 5th, a comic commission, and my own artwork. I hate too that I know that the second my commissions are done I get to work on my website. Which I wouldn’t mind except for that bit where I’m colouring a lot of stuff and working on the layouts. Once those are finished, everything will be all good to go, but for right now I’m feeling the pain of not wanting to do it. I would shove my website aside, but I feel like it’s REALLY important in terms of advertising. I want to people able to say to people “hey, you can go check out my works at my website” and gain potential clients and readers. I can’t do that right now though because my website is rather bare and doesn’t provide everything I want/need it to provide. Not to mention, I really need to draw a new image for the Martinishipping shrine ’cause I don’t like my current options. Granted, I hate the way I draw Paul (from Pokémon). His stupid face is too hard. Particularly his eyes. Blah.

I’m starting to wonder if I’m going to be able to handle doing my 2012 goals, with this year being so heavily dedicated to artwork. I’m fearing that the artwork thing is going to carry over into next year entirely. I hope not. I need to write. My future depends on it.

Oh, yeah, I’m also not looking forward to reopening my commissions in October, but I’m going to. New prices and services. I’m hoping I get some new clients. I really just want to do my own artwork though…

Okay, now I’m going to tell you the part you’re most likely more interested in than my artwork ramblings – I never thought I would say this, but I actually miss my friends. I have a few offline and I would love to hang out with them, but everyone is so busy and I lack the funds to do a lot of activities. Everyone who I know offline who is my friend, I MISS YOU. I would love to hang out with you, but even if not, just simply a phone call. No, even a text would be fine. (I’m looking at YOU, Ryan and Veronika!) Seriously, though, I’m missing them. It’s made even worse too when Jenni has her best friends come over on a regular basis. Why don’t I have friends who can come over a bit more often? I just want to hang out with someone. I probably would care less about it if my online friends were more active online, but even online has been rather quiet. So I’m feeling unsatisfied both online and offline. When I get in a fantastic conversation with my online friends though, all my missing pretty much goes away until our conversation stops.

Christopher Meets Carl
Christopher Meets Carl

My mom keeps on saying that I should go out more and meet people, but I know the main problem with that is that even if I do meet people and become “friends” with them, there’s a large chance I’ll end up feeling disconnected from them rather quickly. My interests aren’t exactly common offline. I’ve been told too that I should expand my interest and try new things, which believe it or not, I do. I find them boring, which is why I don’t continue. Also, does anyone notice that I don’t complain about not having enough friends (because honestly, I LOVE all my friends that I have right now – they’re the best bunch I’ve ever had), but rather that most of my closer friends in terms of living distance are too busy or there’s not a chance for them to come over? I would complain less if my online friends were more active online, but they’re not. So I’m not only missing my offline friends, but my online ones as well.

I probably would be missing them less too if I didn’t have the commission to work on, since it would open up more time (at least, more time in my mind) to do other things (yeah…it’s hard for me to explain why more time would make me miss people less). I don’t even have an actual deadline for the comic – I just want it done so I can kick everything into motion. I’ve been so dang productive lately, it’s insane. I barely even know what the word “relax” is. It’s done with one thing and onto the next. And this, people, is why I’m almost never bored.

Of course, now I’m doing so much stuff, that if I even stop to “relax”, I start feeling boredom. I have so much stuff to do though, so I snap right back into work. I’m even wondering where an opening is in my schedule. I’m pretty sure my schedule is filled until at least January 2012. I’ve got that comic commission to finish (which will probably take until late October at this rate), a contest entry due October 5th, my website to finish up (with new commission information, my Creative Works site, and more), future commission works (assuming I’m going to be getting them, especially during the holiday season), anything CCI needs me to do (like data entry), and my artworks (primarily my back catalog) that fill in all the extra space. I’m skipping NaNoWriMo this year as well due to all of this.

I seriously just want to take a break though and relax. Probably watch some TV shows or something. Play a video game. Actually, playing a video game would be nice. I really wanna start playing Assassin’s Creed again. SUCH a great game. But yeah. I want to relax. Is one day going to kill me? No, probably not. Probably would make me feel bad though.

I did start writing a short story the other day, but I’m pretty sure I’m gonna have to rewrite the beginning because I sort of forced myself to write it. I think it’s going to turn out well in the end. It sort of sets something up for another short story of mine that introduces one of my favourite characters I’ve ever created!

So, what did I do today? Continued doing the lineart for the last page of the contest entry, downloaded Legend of Zelda: Four Swords from the Nintendo 3DS e-shop (which is currently free), finished that lineart, helped my friend with her art theory homework, and started working on the 7th page of the contest entry (there’s 9 total), before saying “screw it, I’m sick of doing lineart”. Which lead me to writing this entry for a few hours now.

Helping my friend with her art theory homework was fun. She basically had to talk about her own drawings, which she said was boring. So I primarily asked her questions about the piece she showed me to help her think about what to write. I personally LOVE talking about my artworks and explaining the meanings and process behind them, so it was pretty easy to come up with questions and comments about her image. I wish I could have done more but she had to leave. And I should probably mention this is an online friend, haha. OH. And today I finished that Onlyinadreamshipping picture you saw earlier in this post. I had to do something for me. Otherwise, I go a bit into depression.

Geez, is there anything else I could talk about? No? I don’t think so…maybe…I don’t know. I’m starting to think I should sleep on the whole artwork thing and see how I feel tomorrow. The linearts for pages 7 & 8 are going to take priority though, definitely. And then maybe I’ll work on Cleanser 2’s page.

I really wanna work on something of mine, but I have no idea what. I want something easy to colour, but interesting. I’ll just look tomorrow.

And I believe that is it. I’m going to go make myself some dinner, do something else that I don’t know yet, and then go to bed.

Oh…I guess another thing I could mention is that sometime this week, someone from my old school messaged me on Facebook. We had a nice conversation – it made me feel happy. It was wonderful hearing them recognize that I’m independent.

Okay, NOW I’m going. Hope you had a good read. Maybe. Maybe not. This is almost 3,000 words. Wow. Okay, bye.

Or not…now I’m just thinking of how stupid I am. I forgot too that I recently joined a group called Stationarmy (which I named, oh ho ho ho ho) which is basically a collaborative manga project. I’m on the writing side. But still, I’m stupid for taking it on with all my other stuff going on. At least the project is going slow so it’s not taking up any time right now. Hopefully I’ll be more free when it starts picking up.

I’m really going this time. Bye.

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